Honestly, it’s always time to do shadow work! Every day and every second you can become aware of something you didn’t know before. The only thing you need is to observe. Zoom out of your situation and you can become aware of anything. Every tiny little thing that makes you upset is a trigger and that’s your alarm bell and opportunity to become more aware and do shadow work. You can be triggered every day without even knowing it. You don’t know this because you haven’t been paying attention to these triggers. If you don’t pay attention to this, you can’t become more aware. You can’t find what’s underneath since you’re not looking for it…
So, when is it NOT time to do Shadow Work?
It’s not the time to do shadow work if:
- You are approaching shadow work to get rid of or changing how you are feeling. And so, you are avoiding the reality of your situation that is currently happening. You are trying to escape the present moment and what is real.
- You are doing it to fix yourself. Which refers to the above as well, since you are again trying to change ‘what is’.
- You are being self-critical. Being self-critical is not a good moment to do shadow work, since it’s not a space where you are genuinely caring about how you feel. You are doing the opposite by trying to push away how you are feeling instead of truly caring. This is only going to circle back around and you’re not really creating change. Instead you are making it much harder on yourself. I suggest to leave it for what it is until you can actually hold space for yourself and how you feel in a later moment.
- You are tired. Even though being tired shouldn’t be an excuse to not do it, but there are times when you are tired and doing shadow work is just not happening. In a moment like this you should listen to your body and give it what it needs. Come back to the trigger when you are able to really be there for yourself. And ultimately you always want to be there for yourself but that takes practice.
- And obviously, you don’t want to do shadow work when you are at work or any situation where you can’t fully be with yourself or where it is inappropriate to do so. However, like I mentioned at the beginning, you can always observe and notice how you feel during the day wherever you are. It’s just not the time to go through an entire shadow work process.
What happens with the above mentioned, is that you are hitting a wall and you are trying to force yourself through it. You can never ever force healing. If you do try to force healing you can’t actually heal. That’s the tricky part of it. You can try to force healing but you will bump against many walls.
On the other hand, pushing against these walls is also going to make you end up into surrendering, because it’s not working…and this is also part of the journey. So, even when you notice you are approaching shadow work this way, it is part of the journey. You will fail (which is not really failing but learning) and get back up again until you get it.
Be aware of distractions
When you want to commit to shadow work you also need to become very aware of the way that you are distracting yourself. You might actually make excuses to not do shadow work and coming up with reasons why it’s not a good time to do shadow work. The above mentioned can also be an excuse to not do shadow work! Maybe you’re tired and decide to go to sleep instead of holding space for yourself when you actually need it. You might already feel so uncomfortable but don’t notice it, since you are already distracting yourself with anything that is the opposite of sitting down with yourself. Even scratching your nose or changing positions is a way of the ego trying to distract you from uncomfortable feelings. So, be aware of these tendencies and know that there are many distractions that you might not even consider a distraction. The rule of thumb is: anything that doesn’t make you sit down with yourself and allows you to truly care for how you feel is a distraction!
When IS it time for Shadow Work?
Every day and every moment you can do shadow work. You want to develop more attunement to the sensations that you are feeling throughout your day. You can observe every little thought that crosses your mind and notice how it feels in your body. You can try to understand why you feel the way that you feel in any moment. And when you are really triggered or upset about something, something that makes you feel unease, that makes you feel the opposite of feeling peaceful, THAT is the moment you really want to choose to do shadow work.
When you don’t pay attention to a trigger you are missing the opportunity to integrate and it will come back again until it’s seen and truly integrates. Integration happens when you release the resistance to how you feel, you lose the resistance to what IS and so you lose the resistance to the trigger. The trigger won’t feel like a trigger anymore when the resistance is gone. AND…you can’t fake this! You can be in denial about it though, thinking that you are feeling better but instead you are suppressing it. You know you are still triggered when you still feel upset.
Shadow Work in day-to-day life
Practically we want to do shadow work by working layer by layer and so you want to notice the intense triggers that are coming up throughout your life. You may notice at first that you might be triggered the entire time! That’s a normal reaction to have and it just means you are at the beginning stages of shadow work. It’s like opening Pandora’s box for the first time.
Only after practicing shadow work for some time you can start to play with this and do it anytime you want. But let’s say that it is for the more ‘advanced’ shadow work practitioner. You can do shadow work during day-to-day time after you really understand the mechanics of this work. If you truly understand it, you will want to keep exploring your subconscious mind anytime and it will become more fun. It becomes fun when you start seeing the benefits of doing shadow work.
When you do commit to a shadow work practice, you are committed to understanding ‘why’ you feel the way that you feel and GENUINLY want to care for your emotions. If you don’t genuinely care about how you feel then you’re not doing shadow work and you are not becoming more aware of yourself. And you are also not truly integrating the triggers or layers that are coming up. You want to care for how you genuinely feel and want to understand what’s coming up for you. This needs to be your priority if you truly want to heal.
Again, you want to do shadow work any time you feel a trigger (upset) and give that sensation your ‘unconditional presence’ in that very moment. Do this every time and you are well on your way with your own shadow work practice and healing journey.
Until next time.
With Love, Naomi
P.s. you may also like to read my other blogs ‘Shadow Work 101 for Beginners’ and ‘3 Important Shadow Work Mistakes you want to avoid.’ and ‘Everything in life is a distraction except for this…’
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Written by Naomi
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