For those of us on the healing path must have heard about the saying ‘feel it to heal it’. This is a good thing to have going around in the healing communities, since we are still in the emotional dark ages collectively. The first step of getting out of the emotional dark ages is to learn how to feel again. But there is an important blind spot behind ‘feel it to heal it’ that we need to become aware of.
Is it true? ’You can’t heal what you don’t allow yourself to feel’
We are missing a very important point in ‘you can’t heal what you don’t allow yourself to feel’. If we want to heal, then yes we need to pay attention to our feelings AND when we turn towards our feelings, we need SAFETY onboard. We need our toolbox with practices or things that make us feel safe BEFORE we force ourselves to feel. When we are overwhelmed by our feelings, are terrified to feel them, or have the limiting belief that we should’t feel the way we are feeling, then we are not moving forward in processing our emotions. Instead we are putting more pressure on an already overwhelmed nervous system.
If we aren’t attuned to the experience we are having, then feeling isn’t always healing. When we mentally approach ‘feeling’ then we aren’t really feeling. Therefore we need to find anchors of safety first (which can be similar and different for each individual) before we dive into our felt sense.
‘Attunement is the experience of being met where we are, and self attunement is the practice of meeting ourselves exactly where we are before asking ourselves to shift or change or even FEEL more’ – Lexy Florentina
What we are really doing with ‘feel it to heal it’ is ACKNOWLEDGING our emotions. When we acknowledge our emotions we are saying to them ‘hey I SEE you, I HEAR you, I’m there for you and I’m trying to UNDERSTAND you. This is the opposite of ignoring them or bypassing them.
The importance of observation
Another blind spot is that we can get lost in our feelings. We can hang onto our feelings and emotions for a really long time! Instead of processing them, we loop around in them, and when we are ‘looping’ then we are not making any progress.
The practice of ‘feel it to heal it’, is not a ‘I feel you and I feel powerless to you’ at the same time, because then we run the risk of endlessly staying stuck in those feelings. Instead we have to get into a state of observation when we tune into our feelings. Through observation and dis-identification we can guide our feelings properly without staying in a loop. When we are IN the story too much, then it’s hard for us to observe our emotional reaction around the story. We then run the risk of staying in victim consciousness.
It’s not about feeling our emotions endlessly to a point where we never get out of the same feelings states. (Unless you need to give them that confirmation that you will be forever with them in order to process them, since it’s important to give your emotions, or these part’s within you, what they need). If we get lost in our feelings endlessly, then it’s a good time to implement somatic practices and stay connected to the environment and to our body in the present moment. With that safety onboard we can attune to our emotions and care for them while staying connected instead of powerlessly looping in them.
As we observe our feelings, while acknowledging them, and genuinely trying to understand them without trying to change them, then we have a chance of truly letting go of the pain from the past and step into a place of empowerment.
Meet yourself where you are
We have to change our relationship towards feeling. It’s not about changing emotions, it’s about knowing how to meet them where they are, respond to them and care for them. Feeling emotions is not about controlling them or regulating them. Emotions are not bad. Emotions are part of our life experiences and we will never stop feeling them. Emotions hold important information about ourselves that we want to receive and listen to. When we do listen, we will come to see how having emotions benefit our lives.
The true practice of ‘feel it to heal it’ is attunement, acknowledgment, listening and responding. We have to practice as long as we need too, until we create new neural pathways and until the war against our emotions has ended.
Turn towards your feelings and meet yourself where you are, in order to heal it.
Until next time.
With Love, Naomi
P.s. you may also like to read ‘The One Skill Humanity Has Forgotten To Use’ and ‘Why Thoughts and Emotions are everything in life?’ and ‘How to deal with pain in only 4 steps?’
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Written by Naomi
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