How To Deal With Pain In Only 4 Steps?

We all have experienced pain in our lives and we all have suppressed a lot of that knowingly or unknowingly. Pain sucks, that’s a fact. Nobody intentionally likes to experience pain but we do feel it. If we intentionally seek pain it is only to relief pressure of the pain that already exist. But if we don’t allow ourselves to feel our pain, we will never grow! Luckily there is a wise way to go about feeling your pain.

Pain can be so immensely stressful that it squeezes someone into doing things they wish they didn’t do. The activation can be so high that a person chooses the quickest road to get rid of that pain no matter the cost. But in these intense activations or triggers we need to learn how to self-regulate and we especially need to learn the hidden lesson that is beneath the pain. If we don’t learn how to deal with pain wisely, we will suffer the consequences of the decisions we made during a trigger. Then we will only create more pain on top of the pain we already have.

Pain is a catalyst for growth

When we experience the opposite of what is wanted then we experience a sense of pain (big or small). But most ignore the pain, bypass the pain and suppress the pain and not realizing that pain is a major catalyst for growth! We miss the opportunity to grow and evolve when we don’t allow ourselves to feel our pain and the things that upset us. In order to grow in life, we must admit to how we feel first and allow ourselves to feel the full somatic experience of whatever it is that we are feeling. Only then can we come down from the activation and integrate the experience. Only then we can learn from the experience and release ourselves from the bondage to our pain that keeps us stuck.

How to deal with pain wisely?

We all like to stay in a high vibration and when we feel down or ‘low vibe’ we judge that it shouldn’t be there. We start to fight internally trying to get back to a higher vibration AKA a good feelings state. But resistance to any feeling state is the anchor that keep us in ‘low vibe’.

In order to deal with pain wisely you want to follow the next few steps.

Step 1: Ask yourself what are you truly feeling? And admit to how you truly feel in the moment even when it’s painful and the ego wants to resist it. Be aware of your ego trying to come up with different stories to avoid feeling pain.
Step 2: Allow yourself to feel the sensations and emotions. Allow the entire somatic experience.
Step 3: Seek to understand why you feel the way that you feel.
Step 4: Wait for the answer to come up. Don’t seek for the answer mentally but give yourself time to allow the answer to your question (why?) to rise to the surface from your subconscious mind.

Admitting to our pain is crucial

When we don’t admit to what’s really going on in our emotional body we never heal. We will curse our lives for not having what we want and we get angry about things that happened to us. But there is always a valid reason why we attract certain things. For example, you may have experienced your mom leaving you when you were little, due to your parents divorcing. And she didn’t fight for you or put more effort into being around you more and be part of your life. This is heart-breaking to a little person and that pain is stuffed away in the subconscious mind.

This experience creates a mother wound (or father wound if it’s your father leaving you). This ‘imprint’ causes us in our adult life to experience (mirror) that original pain. You may experience women leaving you, because that’s the experience you have felt before. We unintentionally project this experience onto other women until it’s resolved. Until we admit to how angry we actually are at our mother for not fighting harder for us or maybe we need to admit to how angry we are at women in general for hurting us. And when we allow the somatic experience of being angry, we might find that there’s grief underneath that anger. We feel the original heartbreak we felt from our mom (the feminine) leaving and then we understand where our pain is coming from and we can finally resolve it. And this is just one example out of many.

As you can see all pain we experience has something to teach us. There’s always an underlying and valid reason. We have to think about how we can be grateful for experiencing pain. Pain alerts you that you need to take your hand of a hot stove or you will burn your hand. Pain alerts you when you need to stop running because you have blisters below your feet. Think about what pain can you be grateful for? Let pain be your teacher.

Why is it so hard to feel our pain?

The reason that it is so hard for people to allow feeling our pain is because we judge certain things as bad and other things as good. That is called duality or polarity. Instead we want to practice neutrality. Neutrality is the third option, it’s above good or bad and right or wrong.

When we get to a state of neutrality we can see that the experience just IS. We can observe it and allow it to pass through and run its course without judging that it shouldn’t be there. The belief ‘I shouldn’t feel this way’ is a judgement. But it might as well should be there!

Rewire your beliefs around pain

What you experienced and how you feel about your life is valid and perfectly normal to feel. There is never an invalid reason for feeling the way that you feel about your life. Things happened to all of us and it’s totally OK if it’s sucks. But when we bypass these emotional experiences, we bypass our pain and we miss the opportunity to grow and heal. Pain truly is a teacher! So, rewire your beliefs around pain. Instead dive in, be curious. Explore why are you feeling the way that you feel without judgement. What’s underneath your pain?

Until next time.

With Love, Naomi

P.s. You may also want to read my blog ‘Why thoughts and emotions are everything in life’ which goes more in dept around thoughts, emotions, observation, bypassing and resistance.

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