A Word about Worth: How to feel Self-Worth once and for all

Everyone has felt unworthy at least once in their lives. Most people live with a feeling of unworthiness without even knowing it. And then there are people who are aware of it, but can’t really get to the root of it. Sometimes you need information, sometimes an experience and sometimes you need to actively practice something to change a pattern and heal.

In this blog I would like to give you some tools to once and for all deal with feeling unworthy. I am sharing information that I found and put it all together that really helped me examine the root of this unworthiness wound. You may always come back to this blog and pick a practice that resonates with you at that specific time.

Self-worth is an individual journey

First of all, finding self-worth is an individual journey. Someone can tell you that you are worthy a million times, but if you haven’t found it within, you’re not going to belief it! You sure want to belief it, but you had different proof from past experiences that was just convincing enough for you to belief that you are unworthy…and so we benefit from going back to a childhood memory where you felt unworthy for the first time. Doing Shadow Work will help you with these emotions and create resolution with past childhood experiences or rather say past childhood emotions. Since emotions are an echoof the past.

Dis-identification

Feeling unworthy can be from experiences in your childhood, past lives, programming and you most likely have taken on patterns from you parents. Knowing this you can dis-identify from the feeling of unworthiness, cause it’s not yours! Treat the feeling of unworthiness as a separate entity and communicate with it from this perspective and dis-identify from it.

Examine your own mind and your own beliefs about self-worth

You want to examine your own mind and your own beliefs about self-worth. Are they limiting or beneficial? Stop focusing on thoughts that you are flawed, wounded or incomplete. If you don’t focus on self-worth and just hope that someday it will magically be there, then it will take a long time to heal this pattern. Talk to your brain by repeatedly practicing thoughts that proof that you ARE worthy. Look for proof of your own worth and look for aspects you CAN appreciate. In other words, replace your beliefs.

You also want to become aware of and avoid certain types of thinking, like:

Comparison thinking.
Taking things personal and personalizing other people’s reaction to you.
Blaming others.
Jumping to worst-case scenarios.
Using should’s. I should be…
People must think that…
Over generalizing, like always or never thinking. If it happened once, it will happen again in the future.
Labeling and judging.
All or nothing thinking like, you are either a success or a failure. It’s thinking things like there is nothing in between winning or losing.
Making feelings facts, like: I feel worthless, so I must be worthless.

If you notice you think this way, then stop yourself in the moment and figure out what thought would be a better thought to think.

Note: You never want to avoid things that will only create more suppression. But when it comes down to developing self-worth, we want to focus on what we DO want to feel and belief. You can always ask a question, like: what’s underneath this? In this way you can examine and become aware of the belief and so you don’t need to be afraid of suppressing it.

Pick thoughts that feel good for you to belief

You can always create self-awareness through a question and it won’t create more suppression. Knowing that, you may also want to meditate on core affirming thoughts. You can pick a thought that feels good for you to feel, and repeat it like a mantra.

If an affirmation doesn’t feel good to you, then it goes against your natural intelligence. That means you don’t actually belief it! Then pick a thought that you DO belief. If: ‘I am worthy’ doesn’t feel good to you. Then you can choose something lighter: I am open to experience self-worth. Pick thoughts that really feel good for you to belief. You can record these affirmations and listen to it at night with earphones.

What would I say to a friend?

You probably won’t criticize and say the negative things towards a friend you might say to yourself. Whenever you notice your inner dialogue getting self-condemning, you can practice: what would I say to a friend? This practice will also move you into self-compassion.

Water Structuring Method

Another practice is using the Water Structuring Method. Practice sending 3-5 minutes (everyday) of self-worth and love towards a glass of water and drink it. It will help the body restructure itself to the frequency of self-worth and love. This is a very powerful energetic practice and is not to be underestimated.

Ask yourself: Who needs me?

When it comes down to feeling worthy and wanting other people to see your worth. Then you need to realize that people only find something of worth when they need something. So, how much value people see in you is based on people’s needs. The more you fulfill a need for someone the more they value you and so the worthier you are towards them. You can ask yourself: who needs me? And see if you can fulfill someone’s needs out of your own joy and while considering your own boundaries. This can help you feel self-worth.

Unworthiness vs. Authority

Another thing that can help you out is asking yourself if you are actually feeling ‘unworthy’ or is it about not feeling ‘authority’ over yourself? During a session that I had with a very spiritually gifted woman relative to this subject, she expressed to me that I don’t feel unworthy. She said: ‘It’s not like you don’t know your worth, it’s more so you don’t feel authority over yourself.’ So, it might help you as well to ask yourself this question: am I feeling unworthy or don’t I feel authority over myself? Might that be the issue instead?

Unworthy is OK!

If you truly want to heal self-worth, you want to sit with the part of you that actually feels unworthy. It’s called parts work. This part that feels unworthy is OK to be there. It’s okay to feel unworthy. It’s not the entire you that feels this way. This practice is HUGE. Because we are giving this part our unconditional presence and that’s the most healing thing you can offer yourself or someone else. You genuinely want to care for your emotions. And not approach it as, I need to get rid of this feeling or this part of myself.

It’s just a part and that part needs to feel seen and needs to feel OK to be there. It needs to feel OK to exist. If we don’t allow ourselves to feel these unwanted parts, we keep suppressing it. You can ask yourself a few questions:

What’s so wrong about feeling unworthy?
What’s wrong about being unworthy?
What emotional void are we trying to avoid?

We can’t really sink deeper than the answers to these questions…can we?

Practice appreciation

Worth is inherently yours. You cannot take away from your own worth. It’s always there, you cannot be better or less than someone else and neither can they. You don’t have to justify your life to yourself or anyone. Practice what to appreciate in others and yourself instead of condemn and you will know what self-worth is, which is inherently already yours.

You are a unique expression with a unique perspective and unique gifts. And so, the last words I want to leave you with, which I once heard and I think it’s really good and can help boost your self-esteem, is this:

‘There is no one in the world who can do what you do in the way that you do it.’

Until next time.

With Love, Naomi

One of the resources used for this blog: Teal Swan

P.s. you may also like to read my other blogs ‘Why Focusing on Yourself is one of the BEST things you will ever do’ and ‘6 Ways to Create a Deep Connection with Yourself’

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