7 Blind Spots You Need To Know About Your Ego

Everyone has an ego whether we are aware of it or not. Your ego is making it capable to live a separate identity so that you can be you and I can be me. Your ego is whatever you identify with and it is your sense of self. Without the ego we would not be able to experience life as it is. Without the ego we would be all knowing already and there would not be much to learn. The ego acts as a filter to see life through and therefore we can have our own personal preferences, interests, passions, dislikes, likes, boundaries and so on. This is why everyone is different and yet on a higher level we are all the same.

How Does The Ego Affect Our Lives?

Having an ego comes with many pitfalls. The ego can keep us locked in our way of thinking our entire lives. The ego can prevent us from seeing different perspectives, it prevents us from listening to our intuition, and the ego can prevent us from true healing. A stubborn ego can cause us pain and can get in the way of our wellbeing. Living from the ego can backfire on you immensely, if not this lifetime then it will be in another lifetime due to accumulated karma.

When you are triggered, it is the ego flaring up because it senses danger. And the one thing that the ego is concerned with is keeping you safe at all costs. When we can’t deal with the trigger in a healthy way then it keeps us from becoming self-aware, it keeps us from integration, healing and any other positive change. And it’s important to work with the ego because it also affects our manifestation capabilities.

When you are identified with your ego it is very hard to become aware of the ego. You may even be in denial of living in your ego because you are so identified with being IT. Many people aren’t aware that they are living through the filters of their ego and missing out on an entirely different perspective of their life and the world at large. But on the other side of the ego you can find the gold that can never be revealed into your awareness, if we don’t learn how to work with the ego.

How Does The Ego Develop?

As we come into this life we agree to certain things and one of those things is having an ego. You could consider the ego an implant that is located in the brain. The ego is developed when we experience some form of mental, emotional or physical pain and when that happens the ego splits into a conscious and a subconscious mind. Due to social conditioning your ego learns that it gets accepted by the family system when it is good (socially acceptable behaviors) because this creates connection. And being outcasted from a family system is a threat to our survival. Growing up we have learnt that certain things are good, acceptable and rewarded and certain thing are bad, unacceptable and we get punished for it. This process of social conditioning is a big part of how the ego develops.

The Negative & Positive Ego

The ego is polarized. Therefore, we have a positive ego and a negative ego. The positive ego allows us the experience to see ourselves as separate form others and doesn’t place judgements on things. It can hold the perception of separation while maintaining a higher perspective of being connected to all there is. The positive ego is something we can grow and evolve. The negative ego is destructive and holds negative judgment and will often devalue or glorify others. The negative ego operates from unbalanced energies and sees itself as separate in a painful way. The negative ego is addicted to seeing things as right and wrong and good or bad. And this is exactly what we want to become aware of in order to not let the ego limit our lives.

7 Blind Spots You Need To Know About Your Ego

Here are some crucial blind spots to recognize the workings of the ego so that we don’t let the ego take the best of us and ruin our lives.

The ego is only concerned about survival

The task of the ego is to keep you safe, protected and to survive. This means the ego is not your enemy but your amigo. But the ego can get so rigid that it can hinder our lives. Knowing this we can acknowledge this aspect within ourselves and validate the ego’s motives but at the same time be self-aware enough to make conscious decisions that are not survival based.

The ego always wants to be right and GOOD

The ego is obsessed by doing the right thing and seeing itself as good. This is because it has learnt that being right and good gets us safety, approval and connection. Remember that the ego ALWAYS want to be right, so the next time you are arguing with someone because you have a different opinion, know that you are operating from your ego. It is a very primal function of the ego but it can be destructive for our relationships.

The ego likes to judge and compare itself

It is a natural instinct of the ego to judge and to compare (comparing is a form of judgement). We can judge from a place of self-awareness or we can judge from a place of negativity. Due to the ego we almost cannot NOT judge since we are interacting with our environment every day. We analyze, we are considering different options and making decisions all the time.

What we CAN do is being aware when you are judging someone or comparing yourself with someone. Most of the time judging doesn’t feel good. And every time that you compare yourself with someone it is always the ego that is doing this because the higher self never judges negatively. The higher self allows you to see things from a higher point of view that is not detrimental to our wellbeing. And the higher self does communicate universal truth whereas the ego is limited to seeing life from this reality only. The next time you judge or compare yourself, question this: is whatever you are thinking realistic? Is it really true? Or are you letting your ego dictate your experience?

The ego thinks its superior than others

The mind thinks in linear ways, that’s how we can perceive this world. And the ego in particular likes to think in levels and in polarity, such as being higher or lower, right or wrong and black or white. Therefore, the ego lovesto feel superior, more successful and being better than others.

If you see yourself as superior than others and perceive them as doing better than you, then the ego will feel threated and starts to fight for its survival. This can look like coming up with reasons why you are better than someone else, or lashing out at someone in order to get rid of the survival energy. We may also become very competitive. But the higher truth is, there is no one in the world that can do what you do in the way that you do it! We are all special and have something unique to offer this world and this makes us truly all equal.

The ego can’t exist in the NOW

Your ego can’t exist in the present moment. The ego likes to think about the past because that is what the ego already knows and it brings a sense of security and safety. And the ego likes to think about the future as well because it thinks it can prevent certain negative things from happening by already anticipating what couldhappen. It the present moment the ego cannot identify with anything and therefore it can’t exist in the now. If we want to learn how to not let ego lead, then we have to learn to become present to the moment. This is also where trauma releasing comes into the picture. The more trauma is present in the body the harder it is to be with yourself in the now, because we don’t feel safe yet.

The ego seeks distraction

Your ego is a master in seeking distraction. This is because being in the present moment and being in reality, is painful due to past trauma or stored survival energies in the body. When it can distract itself by using coping mechanisms it avoids feeling emotions and the pain those emotions bring about. This can be pain from the past or pain happening in the present moment. Even falling asleep when you have a moment to relax, can be a way from the ego to avoid feeling uncomfortable emotions. Or the ego distracts you with stories, fantasies and any other thoughts. In order to deal with this blind spot, it’s important to learn to dis-identify and observe ourselves and to not get distracted by our ego but instead stay aware.

Shame is the biggest enemy of the ego

The number one biggest enemy of the ego is SHAME. When we feel shame our biology gets into fight or flight because we feel a sense of unsafety. Shame is not so much an emotion but more a function of the human system embedded in our biology. Shame always indicates that there is a vulnerable part within us that is coming up to the surface.

We feel vulnerable more often than we realize or want to admit. The moment that we feel vulnerable we are more likely to get rid of the sensations by reacting to the environment in some way, shape or form. This process happens rather quickly in our system and we are most likely not aware when we feel this shame coming up.

But how do we deal with this? The best antidote to shame is to learn to have compassion for yourself whenever you feel shame. Communicate with compassion towards the parts within you that feel vulnerable. And as you do this you will learn to consciously deal with the reactions that you experience. You will learn to make your nervous system feel safe and become regulated which, as a result, will help you deal with your ego in a healthy and conscious way.

How To Do Ego Work?

Now you know a few things about your ego and the blind spots you need to look out for. But how do we do ego work? There are a few things that you can practice in order to work with the ego.

Write down the above blind spots and become aware when you are exhibiting these ego behaviors without judgement.
Learn to dis-identify and observe more often. You can read more about this in my other blog ‘The One Skill That Humanity Has Forgotten To Use…’.
Become more self-aware by doing shadow work as well as release trauma and survival energies through somatic work.
Always choose whatever feels light, soft and what feels safe when we are faced with a decision. Including small decisions. This practice also helps us to learn to listen to our intuition.
When something feels heavy, when you feel in a hurry or an urge it is always the ego. Which is also your alarm bell to become more alert. And it is an opportunity to make a more conscious decision.
Tune into the heart instead of the mind as often as possible. Let love guide you and not fear.
Stay humble and see the bigger picture in life. Knowing that everything is temporary and that we are spiritual beings having a human experience.
And then rinse and repeat the above practices.

The Backdoor Of The Ego

It’s not a virtue to live from the ego because it only shows low consciousness and spiritual weakness. Be aware that by even knowing this information about it being a sign of spiritual weakness, the ego will want to do the opposite of that. Because the ego wants to feel superior than others and will want to fight for that. And so, question your motivation for wanting to work on the ego! Because it might as well can become another way of creating more ego.

Again, your ego wants to protect you and to stay alive so that it can exist. It’s only a natural instinct that you want to become conscious of. Your ego is not your enemy but it is crucial to do ego work if you are committed to expanding your awareness and if you want to improve the quality of your life. Doing ego work is an important part of our healing journey and in becoming sovereign. Without doing this work we won’t get very far in life.

Don’t let your ego lead you, but learn to lead the ego.

It’s up to you, do you choose your ego or do you choose your spirit?

Until next time.

With Love, Naomi

P.s. you may also like to read ‘Shadow Work 101 for Beginners’ and ‘How to start living in the present moment?’.

P.p.s. you may also like to watch an old video I have created in 2020 about the ego.

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